Life long sharing . . .

你在小孩子面前争吵，你也要在小孩子面前和好。小孩子长大后，他不会怕去面对冲突。他会解决这个冲突。他不会变成唯唯诺诺的人。有些人是为了维持和平，表象和平，然后牺牲自己，过度委屈自己，这种孩子不会存在。

Sometimes you are not able to control and have argument with your spouse in front of the children (I did that a lot of times, shame on me), you have to settle the argument and conflict  in front of the children too. (This is tough) Provide a good role model on handling differences in thoughts to the children, and this will help the children when they grow up. They will be able to handle conflicts, and will not turn out to be a person who dare not to face conflict, who also on the run to avoid the conflicts.

父母无心客气话，小孩受创伤害大。

The example told in the show is quite common in oriental society.. a mother after dressing up her daughter for an outing, when met with a neighbour who after greeting, gave comment, “Your daughter is pretty.” The mother replied in front of the little girl, “No, she is so ugly.” This really kills the girl self esteem.

小孩该学什么才艺，要先了解小孩能力。两岁的小孩，它可能肌肉的精细程度还没有到那里，你要他去学画画，他的能力没有到那边，他会有挫折感，浇熄他学习的欲望和快乐。

What enrichment class to sign up for young children, first must understand the child’s ability and interest. Example given is like for 2 years old, if their motor skill is not ready yet, sending them to drawing class might make him feel defeated as it’s out of his ability to perform the drawing action. (Truly agree)

教养孩子应用加法，提供多样解决办法。减法教育是什么？告诉你这个不行，这个不行，那个不行。那小孩子还小，他没有办法融会贯通，举一反三，所以他被逼到角落了。加法教育就是：告诉他， 你有另外一个行为，被社会，被家庭接受的行为，可以取代，给他转移。

Instead of telling the children, this cannot do, that cannot do; try to give them other option, like telling them instead of doing so, which is wrong, you can do this. They termed is as “Addition Education” (sorry, direct translation again).

A few points I jotted down from the show.

不管两人的意见在怎么不合， 在孩子面前永远是同一艘船。

When teaching children, even you have disagreement with the way your spouse do it, do not argue in front of the children.

E.g. You might not like your spouse spanking the children when they do something wrong. You have to wait till you two are alone then bring this up to discuss. Do not do it in front of the children.

不管两人的意见再怎么不合， 在孩子面前永远是同一艘船。

When teaching children, even you have disagreement with the way your spouse do it, do not argue in front of the children. E.g. You might not like your spouse spanking the children when they do something wrong. You have to wait till you two are alone then bring this up for discussion. Do not argue about it in front of the children.