Archive for July 2011
The girls were chit-chatting beside me.
” I wonder what we will get for this year Christmas present.” Ling started. “We can only get it in December.”
“What do you want for your Christmas this year, Ying? ” asked Ling.
Ying announced aloud “I want a Magic wand. So that next time I no need to ask for things.”
“Oh … ” now Ling got it.
I couldn’t help laughing behind my screen.
Saw in Sin Chew newspaper that Nexus International School in Putrajaya is giving away scholarship. sin chew_140711
Below is extracted from their website:
When I was reading chapter 10 of “Being a Happy Teen”, Andrew Matthew brought up this topic:” Tell people before they find out”, when you make a mistake. This made me recall one incident, during my primary school time, from one of the best English teacher I was lucky enough to have – Mrs Cheah.
Mrs Cheah was the most fierce English teacher in our school. Everyone scared of her, especially during the Spelling session. If you made mistake, you would be caned on the hand. I was quite good in school, most of the time scored 100% in Spelling. . . .Then one day, I totally forgot about the Spelling test until I reached school. I was so worried, and it’s a bit too late to start studying, as the bell was going to ring any minutes. Somehow I managed to gather my gut and rushed to Mrs Cheah’s office. I confessed to her that I didn’t study the night before, I said sorry to her… I couldn’t remember exactly what she said before I left for my class as the bell rang, but I will never forget what happened next.
That day I did quite bad for my Spelling test, score 60%. And as usual, those didn’t do well were called out, lined up, getting ready to be punished. When it was my turn, Mrs Cheah stopped and announced that since I was honest and has the courage to admit one’s mistake up front, she forgave me and she would not cane me . . . I was quite shocked hearing it… and till now I still believe this is the best lesson a child can get from a teacher.
Thank you Mrs Cheah !
For the last 3 weeks, have to work quite late most of the nights to rush for a UAT dateline. Last night, on top of multitasking, cranking my keyboard, coaching my girls’ on their studies, Mr Daddy came home around 9pm, in a good mood. Guess things were well in the office.
At 10pm, Mr Daddy finished his dinner, switching on his laptop..
On the other hand, I reminded the girls to pack and get ready for bed. As usual, the girls still prefer their good-nite-milk in bottle. And last night, the bottles were still lying in the sink, to be washed. (me bad, no time to do housework in the afternoon, they took milk before their nap also.)
Mr Daddy, stood up after hearing me giving ‘order’ to the girls. Walked to the kitchen and asked the girls whether how much milk they wanted, half or full. Ling replied, “Full.”
Seeing the bottles in the sink, Mr Daddy turned and asked Ling whether she wanted it in glass instead. Ling quickly replied, “No thank you. I think I am full and don’t want milk tonight.”
Now, Mr Daddy got frustrated, started scolding Ling for didn’t want to take the milk in glass. He questioned her again fiercely whether she wanted milk or not. Ling was taken aback, and she said carefully, “Mmm.. let me think first, ok, nn.. let me think ..”. And Ying observed all this quietly. I couldn’t stand any more, stopped everything on hand and went to rescue the girls.
I cleaned the bottles, made the milk, sent them to sleep. The girls went upstairs with their smiles back.
And Mr Daddy started to “发烂咋” – “Oh, I trained my girls to drink using glass cannot meh ? … Your brother in law also said why still need bottles..
I interrupted, “We talked about this last time, after getting input from other elderly, remember? We agree that if they can drink more on bottles, let it be first. Why now tonight at this point of time, you want to change everything?”
He left angrily taking his laptop up. … I knew what he was up too…. he was “kancheong” about his 风云 sequel (e-magazine).
Today @11+am, he sent an SMS apologizing for his bad behavior – reason given: I am lazy to wash the bottle…. how rightous…
My sister complaint the same thing to me. When she asked her husband to stop sticking to his farmville (came back from office, first thing is ‘farmville’, not even changed his office attire nor took a bath).. and what her husband replied was : “I need to release stress ….. If I don’t play farmville, tell me what should I do ? ….
After my brother surgery, we advised him not to take so much meat. He stared back at us, with fires in his eyes, “You don’t let me eat meat, what else can I eat? ”
All the 烂人. I pray hard that girls you won’t get stuck with one like this in future.
“I will forgive but I won’t forget.”
Recently we notice (‘we’ here means my housekeeper Connie and I, not ‘he’ and I) that Ling is not happy. It has been days she wakes up with long face and very blue mood, not as active and cheerful like before, not bringing in the sunshine to the house as usual .
After a few digging especially from Connie, we realize that she was actually mad of her sister. Ling is a wonderful sister. Ying is, well, the cheeky one. She is now in the stage of I want all, I want to win, I want to be the first… And Ling gives in almost all the time, so that her sister won’t get angry, won’t cry, wont’ get upset. But then deep down, she is mad that she has to give everything to her sister. Though we scolded Ying and corrected the situation as much as we can, even in front of Ling, Ling is still upset and not able to ‘let go’. .. Ya, that is the word which is missing, until I read this wonderful book from Andrew Matthews.
I have read a few parenting books about sibling rivalry, most are written from the parent’s point of view, practise some tips given. Though on and off there are small arguments, the family are considered very harmony to me now… until recently we notice the change in Ling.
I tried to talk to her alone… but to little help. Last Saturday, went to the Popular @Ikano (my favorite bookstore now), wandering around, and spotted this book from Andrew Matthews (my favorite author).
mm.. with the intention to just have a peek at what he wants to tell the teenagers (well, my girls are still way too long for that :P) .. I started flipping over the pages, … then started reading, … and … well, then another $$ exchange took place.
Well, no regret, in fact, very thankful to find it. I agree with one of the feedback from Director of ConnectEd Education Australia, that this book “is a must read, and should be a permanent fixture in all school library for students and staff.”
Ok, but to what I like,…. ee.. a lot ..
The one that make me have the rush to show Ling is the topic about “Forgiving People”. He illustrated how “Unhappy” people keep holding to what people did bad to them, and “Happy” people have other better things to do. Ya, it’s crazy to think that if we don’t forgive people, they suffer. And that forgiving doesn’t mean we agree with what they did. “To forgive is to let something go.”
.. so yesterday evening, finally I have a chance to talk to Ling alone. Trying very hard to let her “let go” what her sister did wrong to her, and sharing with her that we have help to correct Ying, since she is still young, and still not able to get hold of all the rule and proper manners.. that we know and we need time to help Ying .. think of happy things she wants to do rather then the past, and we acknowledge her being a ‘good’ girl.. ..
It seems to work. That evening, she went to sleep with a wide smile, and she concluded with a question, “Ya, don’t know when Ying will grow up and to be as good as me.” Hahaha…
Last night as Ying was keeping her toys and getting ready for bed, I noticed her putting her clay-pack under her sister’s study desk. I quickly asked her why. And she told me “Because it will make my desk dirty.”
I was very shocked with such a selfish act she was demonstrating. I felt defeated, I failed as a mother to teach her the right things to do.
Quickly I stopped everything on hand and talked to her that it’s wrong, it’s bad to do on others things she doesn’t like people to do onto her….
It’s kind of late and she was rushing for bed, and I really didn’t know how much she has absorbed from my ‘lecture’.
Sigh… I will be very very disappointed if I am not able to correct her. .. Ying, this is bad you know. This is one kind of ‘black heart’ mummy said that bad people has. Mummy don’t want you to become bad people.