Life long sharing . . .

梁旅珠教养书 (7) – sensible and rational

Posted on: January 25, 2014

Another thing Madam Liang brought up in her book llz0001 is ‘being sensible and rationale when dealing with big children who are already in high school’.


“When the children were in high school, their father and I were only be responsible for giving advice, the final decision, the children need to make the call.”

“As long as the children believe you were always looking after their benefit or betterment, thinking for them, when parents give suggestion, even the suggestion might not be of their liking, they would still take it for serious consideration before making decision.”

“Actually the bigger the child, they are more rational. So when teaching them, as long as you can give a convincing reason, most of the time, these big children are able to accept their parents’ view as input. What must be avoided most is dealing with teenagers by force, any little things also say, “I am you father (mother), you must listen to me!” And when the children are able to challenge back in a hard way too, then the parents-child relationship will get worse. It will become more difficult to educate them in future.”

“I used to joke with my friends, raising a child, when young, we can use body strength; when they grow up,  we need to use eloquence and our brain power. If we are not good at both, to prevent the children from misunderstanding the parents ‘throw temper’ because the parents didn’t have a good reason, we should calm down, after thinking through then only decide, whether to communicate with them by writing a note, a letter or any other ways.”

BUT if the child’s point of view is more reasonable than ours, then we must accept; if we do wrong, say something wrongly, we also need to apologize to the child.”


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January 2014
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