Life long sharing . . .

梁旅珠教养书 (6) – mutual trust

Posted on: January 24, 2014

Another topic Madam Liang talked about in her book llz0001 is ‘building mutual trust between parents and child’.

llz10001

“Some friends asked me, why my children didn’t go through the rebellious stage when they didn’t bother to listen to what their parents said, and sometimes even ended up in quarrel when they had disagreement. Why my children seemed to be willing to discuss with parents and accept our suggesting?

I think it’s because we have built the mutual trust between us. I can trust my children that I do not need to be long winded, nagging and scolding them again and again for a matter; and they can trust us that our suggestion are worth thinking and good references.

This kind of ‘mutual trust’ needs to be cultivated since young.

Children below standard 2 or 3, it’s easier for parents to get them follow the instruction by adopting a ‘strong’ attitude; but as the children grow, this method won’t work.”

“When my children were young, I was very strict on them. I have taught them to pay attention and listen to parents’ advice and teachings, making it a habit to them. I have been ‘hand heavy mouth light’ (ee.. direct translation, which means don’t scold or nag too much, but punish according), I didn’t nag. If my children didn’t respect my order, I won’t just keep on scolding but allow them to do it again and again.

BUT I also worked very hard to make sure my order or what I wanted from them, had been thoroughly thought of, avoid any emotional. Therefore, it didn’t take long for the children to understand what we asked for was sensible and rational, or what we suggested did give good result.”

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