Life long sharing . . .

梁旅珠教养书 (5) – I am prepared for your growing up

Posted on: January 23, 2014

llz0001 Another chapter I like is this one. Especially this idea that Madam Liang shared: “I want to let my children know that I am prepared for their growing up.” I have been looking at these two pages, and really don’t know how to make it shorter. So, putting both pages here.

On the first page, Madam Liang shared one experience she had with her daughter.

“When my daughter was in her primary school, so coincidently we watched the news on TV, about a group of secondary school teenagers who go after star. They queued up to get the concert tickets, at night, with sleeping bags. Ya, they prepared to sleep over night out on the street. And their mothers have to send ‘bento’ (food) for them.

I kind of joked with my daughter, “After you are in secondary school and crazy for some idols, must remember, I am not that kind of mother oo.. (who will go deliver food). If you do such thing, I wouldn’t be bothered even if you’re starved for 3 days.”

My daughter immediately rolled eye and replied, “I won’t do such a nonsense thing,”

I laughed and said, “Good ! We shall see. ”

When she entered secondary school, out of peer influence, she started to like some Japanese band, and later even hooked on heavy metal rock.

I respect her freedom to choose her interest and hobbies, I didn’t limit her from buying CDs, posters, or magazines. But because both of us still remember the conversation we had, or may be because of dignity, she was quite self-controlled and behaved well. Never had incident like chasing after stars nor queuing up for concert tickets.”

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When you scold a child on his/her bad habit or things they are doing, sometimes it’s quite hard for them to accept our critics with open heart. But what I’ve discovered is, to discuss with them, what kind of mistake or wrongdoing that their next stage ‘seniors’ might do, they are not so resistance. Therefore, when a child is 10 years old, if there is news on issues or problems faced by teenagers in 12,13 years old on TV,  I will discuss with them together.

Through this way, I can let my children know, I am prepared for their growing up. I can let them know, I have thought of a lot of things, and not wait for things to happen and being chaotic to handle.

And they will witness also that what their parents say is for real and things do come true as predicted; and they will also realise that what they have considered before is not thorough enough.

May be some might say, things haven’t happened yet, will the children understand and can remember ?

What I feel is, if wait for things  to happen then only start to think and look for solution, both parties might be caught in conflicts and suffer. Sure, we shouldn’t talk about something too far away, normally the next stage of their life is just nice, which not too far for the children to imagine. But then, I would not let myself be  so tensed up just to keep on reminding/nagging them everyday; instead, most of the conversation or discussion happened as and when opportunity arise, unplanned and not to be seen as on purpose.”

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