Life long sharing . . .

梁旅珠教养书 (2) – strict and persistance

Posted on: January 16, 2014

The first sharing from this bookllz0001 is about “Being strict and persistence”.

liz1

“When the kids were small, I was notorious of being ‘fierce’. For things that I asked them to do, or I didn’t allow them to do, I was very persistence, unless they had a good reason to convince me.

If they did something wrong, my punishment was always punctual and never miss.

Every time when my daughter was asked to write essay about “My Family”, she always started with “My mother is very fierce.” I accepted this ‘image’ openly, because that was what I purposely wanted to build.

What my daughter wrote was the truth. As long as I didn’t find any anger, feeling of being treated unfairly,  aggrieved in her expression, that was ok.

Normally in the subsequent part of the essay, my daughter would describe how much the effort and care I had given her, and that she knew what I did was for the her betterment. I believe whatever we parents do for our children, they see it in their eyes, and understand it in their hearts.

Am I really that ‘fierce’? Instead of ‘fierce’, I am best described as ‘I have a very strict and persistence attitude’.”

“I believe once we have set the rules, we must think of ways to make sure the children abide by the rules. We shouldn’t simply give in and let the children challenge our bottom line and authority.

Children are smart. Once they succeed in a few challenges, they will know very clearly whose words in the house that can be ignored.”

llz0006

“The way to achieve this is simple: ‘you mean what you say’. Remember: never ask your children to do something which is impossible for them, neither something you yourself also cannot do. And must avoid ‘flip-flopping’ the rules set: morning say one thing, evening change again, very ‘pantang’. If a rule is not being obeyed and keep on changing, it’s never a rule.

For example, if you set a rule that must go to bed by 10pm. But 8 out of 10 days, the child cannot make it because there are too much homework, he needs a short break surfing net, has other enrichment class,…etc and you allow him to change his bed time quite frequent, then, this rule that you set is not realistic. You must re-examine the rules and make adjustment accordingly. Or else, very soon it will end up as useless nagging.”

“If a child is taught to listen and respect the adults, this habit will be carried in them till they grow up.”

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